She sat in the dark, the glow of her monitor illuminating a cascade of blind items. Alabama Barker. Miley Cyrus. Jenna Ortega. The stories stacked like dominoes, each one waiting to fall.

“Welcome back to Blind Item Breakdown,” she said, her voice low and steady. “Our first blind item is about Kourtney Kardashian’s stepdaughter, Alabama Barker.”

She pulled up the blind.

“There’s only so long that the big reality family can keep covering for all the things this state celebrity is doing.”

She shrugged.

“Now, I like Alabama Barker. I think that she’s just living her best life, and at this point, it doesn’t even seem like she has parents. I mean, let’s be real. Shanna Moakler checked out a long time ago. Travis Barker is barely there. And of course, Kourtney doesn’t even know how to raise her own kids.”

She pulled up a comment.

“They’ll stop covering for her when they need the storylines. Whatever they’re doing must include crushing up birth control pills into all her food because she seems like the prime candidate for a poorly thought-out, clout-chasing pregnancy.”

She made a face.

“Not crushing the birth control into the food. Ew. Why should they even bother to cover for her? Would anybody be truly shocked?”

She pulled up the first hinge.

“Alabama Barker is twenty years old. She’s been in the tabloids since she was a child. She’s had friendship fallouts, public fights, and accusations of being a mean girl. And now she’s doing music videos with Tory Lanez—a man convicted of shooting Megan Thee Stallion. That’s not a phase. That’s a pattern. And the adults in her life are nowhere to be found.”

“Damn. We’re like ninety seconds in, and I’m issuing my first apology. I want to say Kourtney Kardashian is not a bad mom. You know, I don’t like to mom shame. I think that’s terrible. There are many people out there that can be shamed. I’m sure that Kourtney’s fine. She’s paying her nannies. They’re taking care of the kids.”

She pulled up the baby news.

“But more recently, Kourtney and Travis revealed that they’re trying to have another child. It sounds like they want a girl, possibly twins, which is interesting. I feel like they definitely put the girl children to work, so they’re probably looking for their paycheck. The source says they’re hoping for a girl this time. They both are thinking having twins would be a huge plus. It’s either a boy and a girl or twin girls. Kourtney is trying to get pregnant herself, but they are also keeping a surrogate in mind.”

She paused.

“Why do all the Kardashians insist on having their daughters out in the spotlight but keeping their sons private? Comment below. Why do you think they do that?”

She pulled up the Tory Lanez collab.

“As for Alabama Barker, she recently did a collab with Tory Lanez, who is currently behind bars for shooting Megan Thee Stallion. You can see that Alabama was showing everything off in the music video for ‘Pink Material.’ She arrived at a home in a lace mini dress with a matching headscarf. Pretty much she’s just moving throughout the house, bouncing around and doing her thing. Alabama Barker has officially become a music video girl.”

She pulled up a comment.

“Not Tory Lanez’s girl. You surely know better, Alabama. I literally love you so much, but Tory Lanez’s girl?”

She nodded.

“I mean, with Alabama having all these friendship fallouts and these fights and these accusations that she’s a mean girl, it doesn’t help that she’s siding against Megan Thee Stallion.”

She pulled up the 24-hour warning.

“So there’s about three hours left on Alabama Barker’s warning to Tory Lanez. I wonder what it is. Alabama had posted this warning to Tory Lanez, and people are now speculative about what it means. In her story over on IG, she tagged Tory Lanez and said, ‘You have 24 hours. No NDA.’ So now people are speculating—what does that mean? For what? What did he do? I mean, he can’t do much. He’s in jail, but it seems like he’s still doing much.”

She paused.

“Now, Alabama has not hinted about what that 24-hour notice was. I don’t know. She’s only like twenty years old, so whatever. I don’t know what that means. Tory Lanez—I went to his page. He did not respond. Not that he would, because he’s incarcerated. Y’all be talking to Tory Lanez on the internet like he’s readily available. He has to speak through conduits to get messages out. So maybe his conduits haven’t told him what that 24-hour notice was.”

She pulled up the “bird” comment.

“Now, this person actually called Alabama Barker a ‘bird’ in the comments. She wrote back, ‘You wish you could be me in every lifetime.’ But wait, wait—a bird? See, this is why I love the internet. It keeps me hip. A bird is generally a girl or a young woman who comes off as vain, ditzy, stupid, or useless. The quote says, ‘Quit talking about your hair, you dumb bird.’”

She smiled.

“Shout out to all the birds in the comments below. We love birds on this channel.”

She pulled up Miley Cyrus. The engagement. The cheating scandal.

“Our next blind item is about Miley Cyrus and her fiancé, Max Morando. The blind item reads, ‘The actress, singer, and offspring should break up with her boyfriend she doesn’t really like before the world finds out about the guy that she’s hooking up with.’ And this is supposedly about her fiancé, Max.”

She paused.

“Now, I’ve actually done a deep dive on Max before. I’ve actually not filmed it yet, but I have all the research done, and let’s just say that he’s a very plain guy. I really couldn’t find much. Let me know in the comments below if you want to know more, but it sounds like he might not be in the picture much longer.”

She pulled up a comment.

“Oh, Miley, just find another boring guy or go back to your ex. We don’t care. I don’t know why she bothers with him except to try and make boring Liam jealous.”

She pulled up the wedding guest list drama.

“Now, I thought that Miley Cyrus was on a healing journey with her dad, Billy Ray, and the rest of her family, but it turns out that Billy and his girlfriend—Elizabeth Hurley—won’t be invited to her wedding. Remember that Tish Cyrus, Miley’s mother, had a really messy divorce from Billy Ray in 2022. It looks like Miley claims that she doesn’t have any personal issues with Elizabeth Hurley—Billy’s girlfriend—and she actually feels like she’s a good influence on her father. But at the same time, she doesn’t consider Elizabeth or really Billy Ray family, and she only wants family at this event.”

She played the interview clip.

“Congratulations. How you feeling?”

“Thank you so much. You know what? It’s the perfect timing. I already feel like a little bestie over here. I’m being like, ‘Girl, are we thinking long engagement? Big wedding? Have you even thought of any of this stuff yet?’”

“Well, you know, I’ve been kind of in this avatar world right now, and with the holidays coming up, I’ll have a little bit more time to think about it. But my instinct is always to enjoy every moment for as long as you possibly can. And then when that starts—you know, you feel that you’ve felt the full excitement of what that can be—then you get to try something else. I’ve never been someone that’s just needing the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. I’ve tried to enjoy.”

She paused.

“I mean, looking at Liam Hemsworth versus Max Morando, it’s kind of giving like a Justin Bieber-Benny Blanco situation. But I also remember that Miley was not happy with Liam. Remember those moments on the red carpet where you could tell that she was uncomfortable and he was trying to control her? I just don’t see Max doing that. He’s younger than her. He seems younger than her. And maybe she just needs someone who’s going to follow the rules. What do you guys think?”

She pulled up the second hinge.

“Miley Cyrus is engaged to a man she barely mentions. Her father won’t be at the wedding. Her ex-husband is a distant memory. And blind items are saying she’s already seeing someone else. Either she’s the most private person in Hollywood, or she’s the most checked-out. Either way, that ring isn’t a promise. It’s a placeholder.”

She pulled up Jenna Ortega. The boyfriend. The red flags.

“Our next blind item is about Jenna Ortega and her boyfriend, Elijah Ronenfeld. And I’m not a fan of him. He’s done some really problematic things—on top of actually assaulting his concertgoers. Yes, he will kick and stomp on women who attend his shows.”

She read the blind.

“The family and the team of the ‘Wednesday’ actress are hoping that this time apart from her serial-abusing boyfriend will help her recognize just how toxic he is. He turns down photo requests on her behalf. So if a fan comes up to Jenna, he’s like, ‘Nope, no photos.’ Even though she probably would give them a photo. That’s how you start building relationships with your fans.”

She pulled up the control issues.

“It looks like he’s uncomfortable whenever she receives attention, and he tries to control the way that she dresses. Red flag. At the same time, they’re also hoping the abuser will come to realize that he won’t be able to ride the fame of the actress much longer, and that this realization will be enough to push him out of her life for good.”

She pulled up the secrecy.

“One of the reasons why I know Jenna knows what she’s doing is wrong in this relationship is because of how secretive they’ve been. No photos taken. Every time somebody’s got a camera out, they’re running away. They’re trying to hide that they have this relationship, which is suspicious in my opinion.”

She pulled up the ex comparison.

“Jenna Ortega and Elijah Ronenfeld’s ex had a very similar style. So it looks like he’s definitely done this before. Losing all your self-respect for a man who looks like a foot. I wonder if that prick is responsible for her missing eyebrows.”

She pulled up a comment.

“I think that he’s not solely responsible, but definitely helps his desired aesthetic.”

Another: “She’s a copy of his ex, Sky Ferrara. If you see pictures of Sky Ferrara from the time that she was dating Elijah, it kind of looks like Jenna. Like the soul and life was sucked out of them by this man.”

She pulled up the third hinge.

“Jenna Ortega said she wasn’t ready to be vulnerable or trusting with anyone. Then she met a man with a history of abuse, control, and violence toward women. And she gave him everything. That’s not love. That’s a trauma response. And her mother is posting Bible verses on Instagram, praying for God to take the wheel. Because she already knows her daughter won’t listen to her.”

She pulled up Jenna’s old interview.

“In 2023, Jenna opened up in an interview on why she avoids dating. She stated, ‘I’m too obsessed with my work.’ She says the idea of relationships stresses her out. Well, Jenna, I don’t understand how this man Elijah can be bringing you any peace. At that time, she said, ‘I’m not ready to be that vulnerable or trusting with someone.’ Which actually breaks my heart that she’s with the wrong guy and she’s finally being vulnerable and trusting with someone who is a monster.”

She pulled up her mother’s Instagram story.

“So Jenna Ortega’s mom, Natalie, is now essentially addressing Jenna dating Elijah Ronenfeld through an Instagram story she posted earlier today. It read, ‘Trusting God with your adult children means surrendering control, praying faithfully, and believing in His perfect plan.’ And a lot of people online are taking that as her saying she’s not going to interfere in her daughter’s relationship and is just going to let Jesus take the wheel. But I don’t think that’s the case. I’m sure her mother has likely talked to her and tried to help her, but Jenna is twenty-three years old. There’s only so much she can do. Jenna is financially stable, and if she doesn’t want to listen to her mom, she doesn’t have to.”

She paused.

“You guys need to understand that harassing Jenna’s family is not helpful at all. I see people going on her sister’s live asking her about Jenna, and her sister already said she’s not going to talk about her. Do you guys really think her family hasn’t already tried talking to her? It’s unfortunate because she could be in trouble. We know that this man is abusive and aggressive, but she knew who he was before she got involved.”

She pulled up Shia LaBeouf. The new girlfriend. The match made in hell.

“Our next blind item is about Shia LaBeouf and his new girlfriend, Nicole. It reads, ‘The violent A-list actor is doing the same thing again. Also, because his new girlfriend will fight back, I fear one or both of them will end up seriously injured or dead.’”

She paused.

“Now, you guys know we do not deal with domestic violence over here on this channel. It is not okay. And Shia LaBeouf, unfortunately, is like the king of domestic violence.”

She pulled up a comment.

“Why the hell would anyone spend five minutes with that idiot?”

She nodded.

“Great question. Well, it turns out that Nicole—Shia LaBeouf’s girlfriend—has a dark past as well. It’s like a match made in hell. Remember, we first saw Nicole with Shia LaBeouf in Rome. They were together outside of a cafe, and he was just yelling at her. It wasn’t really clear who he was speaking to because they were sitting at separate tables.”

She pulled up Nicole’s record.

“Now, similar to Shia, it looks like Nicole has had previous encounters with law enforcement and has been linked to what insiders describe as a toxic relationship history. Damn, he might have met his match. One source said that this isn’t going to end well. She was charged with serious offenses, including domestic abuse, aggravated assault, and false imprisonment with a weapon.”

She paused.

“Wait, false imprisonment? Does that mean that she held someone hostage? The report states that her boyfriend attempted to put on a shirt and leave, and Nicole grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed the shirt that her boyfriend had in his hand to prevent him from leaving. Her boyfriend then grabbed Nicole’s bag, and a physical altercation ensued. Her boyfriend then left the location. The situation then got more intense because police claimed that Nicole started to punch him in the face, leaving visible marks.”

She pulled up the ex-boyfriend’s account.

“During her questioning, her ex described a pattern of fear, recalling a month ago she was on pills and attacked him with a knife. An insider claims that this wasn’t a one-time thing when it comes to Nicole. One time she cracked him over the head with a candle with glass. He was bleeding out, eventually passed out, and should have been in the hospital. It was a lot of screaming, yelling, and blaming him for the situation that she’s gotten herself into, and blaming him for her life sucking. She would go through his phone every night, and anything incriminating—like a photo of another woman or any female’s names—would result in a punch in the face.”

She pulled up the fourth hinge.

“Shia LaBeouf has a history of abuse. His new girlfriend has a history of violence with a knife. They are two broken people who found each other. That’s not a love story. That’s a warning label. And someone is going to get hurt. The only question is whether it will be them or someone caught in the crossfire.”

She pulled up the Caroline Foh story.

“Shia has actually abused multiple partners. So in 2012, Shia was dating Caroline Foh, and photos of them having an argument came out. There’s photos of her crying, photos of him yelling, photos of her then comforting him. And although this is clearly not a healthy dynamic, and Caroline is in distress in this moment, this whole thing was framed as Caroline was just upset with Shia because he was doing the movie ‘Nymphomaniac.’ Now, evidently, Shia was desperate to get a role in ‘Nymphomaniac’ because he sent tapes of him and Caroline having sex to Lars von Trier. Neither Shia nor Caroline have made it clear whether Caroline knew she was being taped or whether she gave consent to have these tapes sent to Lars von Trier. Caroline and Shia broke up in 2012, but Caroline was actually part of FKA Twigs’ lawsuit. And while she talks about many abusive behaviors, Caroline also says that Shia held her down in bed and headbutted her until she bled.”

She pulled up Taylor Swift and Jack Antonoff. The ticket controversy.

“Our next blind item is about Taylor Swift and Jack Antonoff. This A-list music producer is going viral for his hot take on a ticketing company. He knew that the A-list singer was doing the same thing with the ticketing company, but didn’t say jack back then.”

She paused.

“Now, I’m not surprised if Taylor Swift is getting a different treatment when it comes to Jack Antonoff because everyone is scared of Taylor Swift. I mean, we’ve got people at these award shows thanking Beyoncé over and over again. I’m surprised they’re not thanking Taylor yet.”

She pulled up the Harry Styles ticket cancellation.

“Jack Antonoff recently reacted to Ticketmaster cancelling some of Harry Styles’ tickets. Remember, he is doing a residency in New York. It’s very pricey. Ticketmaster announced on Wednesday that it discovered that scalpers with thousands of illegal tickets bought tickets to Harry Styles’ shows. So they went and cancelled those. Now, Ticketmaster claims that none of those thousands of purchases were by fans, but I guess some fans have reacted to their tickets being cancelled.”

She pulled up a comment.

“Wow, if Ticketmaster wouldn’t make it so easy for scalpers to snatch up all the tickets, then they wouldn’t have to deal with this.”

She paused.

“Which getting tickets nowadays is so stressful. Actually, there’s like a Zara Larsson pre-sale in like an hour and a half, and I’ve been so stressed all morning. I can’t even relax because of these tickets. And then, how much are they going to be? Like if they’re more than two hundred, I might have to skip out, Zara.”

She pulled up Jack Antonoff’s response.

“Jack Antonoff decided to chime in, and he wrote simply on X, ‘You caught you trying to blame Ticketmaster for their own mistakes in the situation when a lot of it does come back to the artists and the record label and the people who are really in control.’”

She played the clip of Jack discussing ticket pricing.

“This is our ticket price because it represents everyone and it represents us doing this without trying to break everyone. The idea that all these things are turning a venue into a free market where it’s like, ‘I’m here. I paid face value. So-and-so is here. They paid a billion dollars. And so-and-so bought their ticket for thirty cents when the scalpers dropped it nine minutes before the show.’ Like, it’s just a moving thing. It’s like just set a price and let people go in.”

She pulled up the fifth hinge.

“Jack Antonoff criticized Ticketmaster for scalpers. But he didn’t say a word when Taylor Swift’s ticket prices exploded. That’s not hypocrisy. That’s loyalty. And in the music industry, loyalty to the artist is worth more than consistency to the fans. The fans just pay the price. Literally.”

She pulled up the Zeus Network. The trafficking allegations. The dead bodies.

“But this is about the Zeus Network. The network that puts on all those fighting shows. It reads, ‘It is time for the feds to really actually follow through and arrest some people at the Greek God network for their sex trafficking.’”

She paused.

“Now, behind the scenes, I’ve actually been working to try to get a documentary made about Zeus because I can’t do it here on YouTube. They’ve already come after me. I can’t get my channels deleted over Lemuel Plummer. That’s the guy that actually owns Zeus. But I’ve been in close contact with people who were founders. I’ve spoken to people who are victims. And my email is [email protected]. If you or anyone you know has been affected by Zeus, please email me. The more people that I get joining on to this, the better.”

She pulled up a comment.

“Zeus Network. Jocelyn Hernandez did a live yesterday, and all I will say is that it was a lot that would trigger an investigation.”

Another: “They found a dead body in the Zeus network office. We ain’t hear nothing about that. What happened to that boy that died outside of your network? Who was the last person that just passed away from Zeus? His cousin was just in my DMs telling me to be careful. I might be next. I feel like my life is in jeopardy.”

She pulled up the sixth hinge.

“Two people connected to Zeus Network are dead. A pregnant woman says the founder is trying to destroy her family. Victims are speaking out. And the feds are nowhere to be found. This isn’t a conspiracy theory. This is a paper trail of bodies. And someone needs to start following it before there’s another one.”

She pulled up Jocelyn Hernandez’s allegations.

“Jocelyn Hernandez did go onto social media with claims that Lemuel Plummer—the guy that created Zeus Network—I know way too much about this man. I know like everything about him. His parents actually owned Christian networks, which is how he got into TV in general. But he was raised on Christian productions, which is wild because what he produces now is completely the opposite.”

She read Jocelyn’s post.

“Jocelyn, who recently revealed that she is pregnant, claimed that the network executives tried to destroy her family. She said, ‘Stopping my payments because I have my own streaming app and I wanted more for my life than just what I had. It’s illegal and plain evil.’ So it seems like Jocelyn’s been working on her own platform, but Zeus says that that is infringing or breaching their contract, which means that they’re trying to pull the plug on Jocelyn in general. That isn’t great because Jocelyn’s had a very successful cabaret show on there.”

She read more.

“She writes, ‘Telling my husband that you won’t fund our business is illegal. Telling us to take our content down is illegal. While I’m pregnant is evil. I gave you all seven years of my life. My contract, my payments are in perpetuity, but they stop suddenly because I take a picture with someone who you fear.’ And Jocelyn’s not holding back. ‘I will sell everything I own before I’m on the streets. This evil man is trying to destroy my family and trying to make something bad happen to me and my unborn kid by doing evil things.’ Not just threatening Jocelyn, but the damn unborn child.”

She pulled up Lemuel’s response.

“Lemuel, the guy that controls the Zeus Network, replied on his social media, stating that this situation stems from a ‘clear breach of agreement’ that we made repeated good-faith efforts to resolve privately, respectfully, and calmly. He said, ‘Let me be clear. We believe in the Cabaret girls. We see real stars, and we’re committed to giving them the platform to actually shine. In our view, they were never truly positioned to outgrow or outshine the lead, and at times were not treated in a way that reflected their value.’”

She paused.

“Jocelyn has had a rough time on her show with how she treats some of the contestants. I’ll never forget that one time somebody coughed and she got mad at them for coughing at her.”

She played the clip.

“Who you coughing at? Oh, sh—. Who you coughing at? Who you coughing at? I know you ain’t popping at me.”

She shook her head.

“So Lemuel is saying that you know what, you created this app. It’s a breach of contract because it’s now a competitor of our app. And he might be right when it comes down to that because it is kind of creating a direct competitor with the Zeus app, since Jocelyn is one of the major stars over there. Good luck, Jocelyn, because Lemuel—you got one thing right. He’s evil.”

She pulled up Megan Thee Stallion and Klay Thompson. The cheating scandal.

“Megan Thee Stallion. She’s been looking for love, and every guy either shoots her in the foot or cheats on her. This blind item is about Meg and Klay Thompson. It reads, ‘I told you way back at the holidays that the NBA player was cheating on the three-named rapper. And it’s accurate.’”

She pulled up the birthday blind.

“Actually, this blind item that came out on my birthday last year says, ‘The reason that this NBA star was late to pick up his singer girlfriend is because he was dealing with a former hookup his girlfriend knows nothing about.’ This was revealed on December 27th, 2025. And it seems like Klay has been playing behind Megan’s back for like six months.”

She pulled up a comment.

“She needs to get even by cheating back. Call me, Meg. Never date a famous athlete.”

Another: “I guess it’s an improvement from a boyfriend who shoots you in the foot during an argument.”

She paused.

“Poor Megan, though. She just wants to date a good guy. She recently broke down in tears during her ‘Moulin Rouge’ Broadway performance after her split from Klay Thompson. And Klay really fumbled the bag because Megan Thee Stallion—she keeps herself busy. She’s working. She’s on Broadway right now. She’s doing much more than just rapping and releasing music and going on tour. So I can’t believe that Klay decided to go and play with her emotions like that.”

She played the clip of fans supporting Megan.

“We love you. We love you. We love you.”

She pulled up the seventh hinge.

“Megan Thee Stallion has been shot, betrayed, and publicly humiliated. She keeps getting back up. She keeps working. She keeps smiling. But when she finally broke down on a Broadway stage, the world saw what she’s been hiding. She’s not a superhero. She’s a woman who has been let down by every man she trusted. And Klay Thompson is just the latest name on a very long list.”

She pulled up Megan’s own words on social media.

“Megan wrote on her own social media, ‘Cheating had me around your whole family playing house. Got cold feet. Holding you down through all your horrible mood swings and treatment towards me during your basketball season. Now you don’t even know if you could be monogamous. I need a real break after this one.’”

She paused.

“So it seems like Klay—maybe he wanted an open relationship, because the word ‘monogamous’ is being thrown around. Either way, I think the stallion knows that she deserves better. Like, not them purchasing a home together last fall. Wow, he really did you dirty. And not the picture, too, with the heart and the keys.”

She shook her head.

“Also, just a note to everyone: don’t ever post a picture of your keys like this. I’ve learned before because obviously people try to come after me all the time that you can actually replicate the key. Someone could replicate that. Just a little note—if you ever get a key to a new place or whatever, maybe just don’t take a picture of it and put it on social media, because that key—with AI and everything—I’m sure you could figure out how to replicate it. So stay safe.”

She pulled up a comment about Klay’s family.

“I saw this photo and I’m pissed off all over again. You had her looking like she was an in-law. You had her looking like y’all really loved her. Y’all really cared about her, playing in her face like that. And the parents—they knew. They knew how their son was and how he is. And honestly, I am happy that she’s no longer with them because he did not love her. He did not love her at all. A man who chooses to love a woman like Meg—she’s lost her parents, her grandparents, the shooting with that stupid leprechaun, getting dragged, people smearing her name, going through so much. A man who loves a woman like Meg will do any and everything to make sure she does not get hurt anymore. He will make sure that he was a safe space for her. And he played her with that. He made it seem like he was a safe space for her and played her. And I think that’s the reason why she made her IG story. She posted that because she doesn’t really talk about her breakups.”

She pulled up Zoe Kravitz and Harry Styles. The engagement. The trolling.

“Our next blind item is about Zoe Kravitz and Harry Styles, the new happily engaged couple. If you look closely, you can see that the actress/offspring pulled out her engagement ring and put it on again just to troll everyone. Wait, so are they engaged or not engaged?”

She pulled up a comment.

“It’s BS. She’s trolling his fans. And of course, the rags were going to pick up on it and stir up those rumors and make them go crazy. See, it worked. It’s a ring from a jewelry line that she endorses and has worn multiple times. Now she’s doing solo paparazzi walks in New York City ahead of the Met Gala. See, publicity.”

She pulled up another.

“Zoe Kravitz. Nobody believed her engagement lie. Honestly, I don’t really care since I’ve enjoyed watching his dumb fans crash out. Well, of course, she’s trolling. She had to drum up some PR since nobody gave an F about her and the Met Gala coming up. Once this fake show is over, she can publicly hang out with the bartender in New York that she’s been screwing for the past month.”

She paused.

“Wait, wait, wait. I thought that Harry Styles and Zoe Kravitz were completely engaged. Some people are saying that this is a setup. Last August, Zoe and Harry were spotted on a romantic date in Rome, and since then, it seems like they’ve been pretty steady. So, of course, the latest sightings of these two together has sparked engagement rumors because they’re kissing all the time. We see her with this big diamond.”

She pulled up Zoe’s past struggles.

“Zoe has opened up about her past struggles with traditional relationships—like her rocky relationship with Channing Tatum. I actually did a deep dive one time about their breakup. It was messy. She said, ‘I would just learn to think about who I am and what I want. You meet someone amazing who wants to marry you, and there’s nothing wrong with that. If there’s nothing wrong, then why wouldn’t you do it? You love them, and that’s what you do.’”

She paused.

“I just don’t know if Harry’s fans are prepared for him to come back and then to be taken away so quickly by Zoe Kravitz of all people.”

She pulled up a fan’s reaction.

“I’m about to say something that’s going to piss a lot of people off, but Harry Styles being married is like ruining the fantasy for me. I don’t know what it is, but I just never pictured Harry Styles getting married. Dating anyone and everyone? Absolutely. Getting married? No. It’s almost like it’s bad for the brand, and it just ruins the fantasy for the fans. Now, obviously Harry Styles is a real human being and he absolutely deserves to frolic off into the sunset with the love of his life, but this is just how I feel. However, if Harry were to get married to someone, I do think Zoe Kravitz is a fabulous choice. She is unique. She’s eclectic. She’s artsy-fartsy just like Harry. Also, her dad is Lenny Kravitz, so she’s very accustomed to the pop star rockstar lifestyle and character. But I don’t know. Something about Harry being married—I’m just like—”

She pulled up Channing Tatum’s cryptic poem.

“Speaking of Channing Tatum, Zoe’s ex, he did post a cryptic poem after Zoe got engaged—supposedly engaged. It’s a poem by this guy John Roedel on Facebook. It reads, ‘My brain and heart divorced a decade ago over who was to blame about how big of a mess I have become. Eventually, they couldn’t be in the same room with each other.’”

She paused.

“Oh, that’s deep, Channing. But I don’t think that Channing Tatum has any power in this situation. There’s no way in this world that Zoe is going to be slowing down for her ex, especially when she scored Harry Styles. I mean, he’s kind of like a Justin Bieber 2.0. Like, I feel like everyone wants to be with him. I mean, a lot of girls in Los Angeles have hooked up with him, so he’s been around.”

She pulled up the eighth hinge.

“Zoe Kravitz has had three engagement rings. Each one bigger than the last. Each one from a different man. She’s mastered the art of the almost-wedding. Harry Styles is just the latest chapter in a book that never seems to end. The ring is real. The commitment? That’s the question. And his fans are already sharpening their knives.”

She pulled up Adam Levine. The face. The work. The mystery.

“Our next blind item is about Adam Levine from Maroon 5. It reads, ‘The color number singer got a bunch of work done to his face. Not a good look.’”

She paused.

“What’s really disturbing about the plastic surgery industry here in Los Angeles is that it looks good on women, but when men start pulling back and tucking up, they start to look like they’re smelling something bad or there’s something wrong with them.”

She pulled up a comment.

“He has an alcoholic face along with plastic surgery face. He looks like a completely different person. Male face surgery never looks good. He looks older and awful.”

Another: “His eyes were already small, but this makes them practically disappear.”

She paused.

“Now, I actually feel bad for Adam Levine because—well, he is a cheater. He cheated on his wife. But having your fans question who you are because you look so different—that’s got to feel bad.”

She pulled up the transformation.

“Oh, okay. It kind of looks like Travis Barker with a little bit of hair, huh? He’s giving Travis Barker a little bit of handsome Squidward.”

She pulled up a comment.

“What happened to him? Someone’s had work done to his face. What did he do to his face? He looks so different. And why did Adam Levine get a facelift? He used to be so handsome.”

Another: “Too bad. I love to see aging men like fine wine. Not this one, though.”

She pulled up the ninth hinge.

“Adam Levine was a heartthrob. Then he got caught cheating. Then he disappeared. Now he’s back with a new face and no explanation. He’s not trying to look younger. He’s trying to look like someone else entirely. And it’s working. Because no one recognizes him anymore. Including his fans.”

She pulled up the side-by-side.

“We’ve got a little swipe where you can see some of the differences between Adam’s looks. It does look like his eyes have changed slightly. The last time we really heard from Adam was whenever he had this affair on his wife and his family, and he’s made these apologies, but really none of them have stuck. I feel like he’s kind of ruined his own career. And then now when getting some work done, it’s not like he’s looking refreshed and hot all over again. I think everyone feels the opposite. Especially when these straight older men just start getting work done, it just seems like they are so insecure. Not attractive.”

She pulled up a comment.

*”When did Adam Levine turn into Jeffree Star? The video of Adam Levine and Bahadi Prince Lou on the red carpet last night has me in shambles. All the headlines are saying that he looks so different because he shaved his beard, because this is what he looked like a couple of months ago. Still off here, too. But it’s the cheek filler. It’s the cheek filler. I think we’ve got some lip filler. There’s a waxy texture going on to the skin. Whoever did this work—to jail. To jail. License revoked. In the trash. But this blue steel look—girl. Somehow it made his ears look so big, too. He just looks so—yes, Yassified. I don’t know who that man is. Honestly, if I had not seen this video and read the caption, I would have absolutely no idea who this person is. The whole video, the vibes are just so weird. The whole thing.”

She pulled up Mr. Beast. The lawsuits. The toxic workplace.

“Our next blind item is about Mr. Beast. This A-list YouTuber settles all the lawsuits against him because he can’t afford to have discovery documents be made public.”

She paused.

“Whenever you get sued, there is a discovery period where there’s a lot of research done, and those eventually become public. And I’m sure that Mr. Beast has a lot of things that he’s hiding, and it would probably be easier just to go and pay people millions of dollars.”

She pulled up a comment.

“He’s got crazy eyes. Why does Mr. Beast and Adam Levine kind of look similar?”

She pulled up the lawsuit.

“There was this lawsuit filed. An ex-Mr. Beast employee alleges a hostile workplace environment. Kind of sounds like Kylie Jenner’s mansion right about now. So it looks like they’re complaining about a hostile work environment, but Mr. Beast’s spokesperson says that this is a clout-chasing complaint. I can’t believe they used the word ‘clout chasing’ in their statement. They claimed that there is extensive evidence, including Slack and WhatsApp messages, company documents, and witness testimony that refutes this employee’s claims.”

She pulled up the pregnancy leave detail.

“It actually looks like this former employee feared retaliation for not working during her pregnancy leave. And she claims that she was on a work conference call while in labor in the delivery room. Wait, so she was literally working up until when she was push-push-pushing.”

She pulled up the bathroom allegation.

“She says that Jimmy—aka Mr. Beast—would get really awkward around beautiful women. Let’s just say that when you’re around, he goes to the restroom, and he’s not actually using the restroom. The Mr. Beast spokesman says that Mr. Beast has an eye condition and Crohn’s disease, which he’s been open about, and he explains his lack of eye contact and trips to the bathroom because of that.”

She pulled up the Beast Games injury.

“On the set of his ‘Beast Games’ Amazon show, a worker was hit by a collapsing tower and spent eight days in the hospital. It also looks like another employee claims that he worked fifteen-hour days and has an unhealthy work-life balance at Mr. Beast’s company—employed for him, which I don’t know if that employee is specifically at the ‘Beast Games’ or at the chocolate factory or doing the YouTube videos.”

She pulled up the tenth hinge.

“Mr. Beast’s head of HR was his mother. His employees worked through labor. A man was hospitalized for eight days on set. And the company’s response to lawsuits is to call them ‘clout-chasing.’ That’s not a defense. That’s a confession. And the only reason it’s working is because no one wants to admit that their favorite YouTuber might be just another boss who doesn’t care.”

She pulled up the employee handbook allegations.

“But there are other things that are very unusual. Things like the employee handbook allegedly said ‘no does not mean no.’ That to let the boys be childish, that if someone on camera wants to draw an eggplant on a whiteboard to let them, and that the amount of hours you work are relevant. And then there’s maybe some questions about—okay, but this is a company all about making viral videos. So is that a different workplace standard? Even in a joke-y culture, that doesn’t tend to read very well when they’re in a complaint.”

She paused.

“So at the time, the CEO of the company was Mr. Beast’s cousin, and she says that she was excluded from meetings with Mr. Beast, and she said, ‘Well, why am I no longer part of those meetings?’ And she said the CEO—his cousin—said, ‘Oh, well, you know, Jimmy gets awkward around beautiful women. Let’s just say when he goes to the restroom, he’s not going to the restroom.’ She says also that she had talked to another leader and had said some of the things and described the culture as toxic, but he responded, ‘Well, you know, that’s how leaders talk at Mr. Beast here, but don’t report this to upper management. That’s toxic. My team did that, and they’re no longer here.’”

She paused.

“She complained to the head of HR, but at that point in time, that head of HR—she says—because there was no third-party type of hotline—was Mr. Beast’s mother, and she had to report to him things that her nephew and son had allegedly done.”

The final hinge landed as the blind items ended: “Mr. Beast built an empire on generosity. He gave away millions. He made dreams come true. He seemed like the good guy. But behind the scenes, his mother was HR. His employees were working through labor. His sets were dangerous. And his response to criticism is to pay it away. That’s not philanthropy. That’s a settlement budget. And one day, that budget is going to run out.”

She reached for her water.

“But that is all I have for you guys for Blind Item Breakdown. Let me know what you guys think in the comments below. Please go and subscribe to my ‘Let’s Get Into It’ podcast, and make sure you go and visit that channel and give me a subscription so I can go and hit 300,000 subscribers.”

She set the glass down.

“Anyways, you guys are watching this on Thursday or Friday. I’m actually currently in Puerto Vallarta. I did a last-minute trip to Mexico. I’ve never been to Puerto Vallarta. So if you guys have been there before, comment below what I should be doing. But go and tune in to my Instagram at Sloan Hooks to see what I’m up to. I’ll be posting there. But I hope you guys enjoyed, and I’ll see you soon. Bye, guys.”

She smiled.

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