The night started like any other lie.

He kissed my forehead. Said he was going to hang out with one of his homeboys.

I didn’t think twice.

Why would I?

We had been through everything together. Homelessness. A van with plastic on the windows because the heat didn’t work in winter. Sleeping in parking lots. Eating gas station hot dogs for dinner because that’s all we could afford.

I had his back when nobody else did.

So when he said “homeboy,” I believed him.

That was my first mistake.

The second mistake came around midnight.

I called his phone. No answer.

Texted. Read receipt. No reply.

 

 

Something twisted in my stomach. The kind of twist that doesn’t go away until you know the truth.

So I called his homeboy.

“Hey, is Reese still with you?”

A pause. Too long.

“Uh. I just dropped him off.”

“Dropped him off where?”

Another pause.

“At someone’s house.”

“Whose house?”

“He didn’t say.”

But I heard it. The lie in his voice. The way his words got small.

I asked for the address anyway.

And he gave it to me.

“Hinged sentence – the person who hands you the address knows they’re handing you a grenade.”

I didn’t even put shoes on.

Just drove. Twenty minutes through empty streets. Streetlights flickering overhead. My hands tight on the wheel.

The address was familiar.

That’s the part that broke me first.

I had been there before. Not many times. But enough.

It was a woman’s house.

Raquel.

Someone I used to know. Someone who used to smile in my face.

I parked across the street.

The living room light was on. Two shadows moved behind the curtain.

I knew one of them.

I knew him better than I knew myself.

I knocked.

Not polite. Not soft.

I POUNDED.

The door opened.

And there he was. Reese. My man. The man I slept next to every night.

He was smiling.

A big, stupid, happy smile.

And on his neck? A hickey the size of a quarter. Fresh. Red. Almost purple in the porch light.

“Hinged sentence – a hickey is just a bruise until you realize someone else’s mouth put it there.”

“Hey baby,” he said.

Like nothing was wrong.

Like I wasn’t standing on another woman’s porch at two in the morning.

Like his neck wasn’t screaming what he had been doing.

And standing right behind him?

Raquel.

My “friend.”

I didn’t think.

My fist left my side before my brain could stop it.

I punched him right in the face.

His head snapped back. He stumbled into the doorframe. Hand went to his nose.

“WHAT THE—”

Before I could get to Raquel, she slammed the door.

Right in my face.

The lock clicked.

And I heard them laughing on the other side.

I walked back to my car.

Calm. Too calm.

I opened the trunk.

And there it was. My bat.

You wanna know why I have a bat in my car?

Because I’ve learned that the world doesn’t protect women like me. The world doesn’t show up when you need help. The world watches while you get destroyed.

So yeah. I keep a bat.

Just in case a situation gets crazy.

And this situation? It was about to get crazy.

Reese must have seen me through the window.

Because the door flew open and he came running.

“Mariah, don’t. Please. DON’T.”

“Get out of my way.”

“I’m serious. You’ll get arrested.”

“I don’t care.”

“I care. I don’t want you to go to jail over this.”

He grabbed my arm. Pulled me toward the driver’s side.

“Get in the car. Please. Let’s just go home. We’ll talk about this.”

I looked at the house. The lights were off now. Like nothing had happened.

Like she wasn’t in there, probably smiling.

Probably proud.

I got in the car.

Not because I forgave him. Because I wanted to get him alone so I could really lose my mind.

On the way home, I didn’t drive straight.

I swerved. Yelled. Punched him in the arm while I was steering.

“That’s unsafe!” Jerry would say later.

Yeah. It was unsafe.

So was fucking my friend while I was at home waiting for you.

We got back to the house.

I went inside. Started throwing clothes in a bag. Not folding. Just grabbing. Jeans. Shirts. The hoodie he bought me for Christmas.

I was leaving.

For real this time.

I walked outside with my bags. Headed for the car.

And then I heard a thud.

I turned around.

Reese was on the hood of my car. Lying across it. Arms and legs spread out like a starfish.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he said.

“Get off my car.”

“No.”

“GET OFF.”

“Not until you promise to stay.”

The neighbors were watching. Lights turning on. Curtains moving.

I could hear someone yelling in the distance. Maybe they called the cops. Maybe they just wanted entertainment.

Either way, I couldn’t afford to get arrested.

I had work in the morning.

So I went back inside.

And Reese? He had the audacity.

The AUDACITY.

That night, he tried to sleep with me.

After he just slept with my best friend.

He crawled into bed like nothing happened. Put his hand on my hip.

“Come on, baby. Let’s just forget about tonight.”

I pushed his hand off.

“Don’t touch me.”

“We can work through this.”

“You slept with Raquel.”

“It didn’t mean anything.”

“It meant enough to put your mouth on her neck.”

He didn’t have an answer for that.

That’s how I ended up on the show.

Jerry. The red chair. The lights that make you sweat.

“She has unfinished business to settle,” Jerry said. “Erica, what’s going on?”

I leaned into the microphone.

“So Jerry, I’m here today to confront this fake ass bitch who’s been sneaking around behind my back with my man.”

The crowd cheered.

“So let me just tell you what happened. A couple months ago, I get a call from my man. He tells me he’s going to hang out with one of his homeboys.”

“Okay.”

“I call his homeboy because it’s getting really late. And he tells me he just dropped him off at someone’s house.”

“One of his friends told you where your boyfriend was?”

“Yes. So he gives me the address. And by then, I’m pissed, because he’s somewhere he’s not supposed to be.”

“So I go to this chick’s house.”

“And it’s a woman’s house?”

“Yes. And I’ve been there before. It was very familiar.”

Jerry leaned in. “Oh.”

“So I go knock on the door. And he answers with a big smile on his face. He’s happy.”

“He’s happy?”

“And he has a big hickey on his neck.”

The crowd gasped.

“So then I see one of my friends standing next to him.”

“Your friend?”

“Yeah.”

“So then I punched him in the face.”

“Words just escaped you at the time?”

“I was pissed. I was mad. I just punched him.”

Jerry laughed. Not mean. Just surprised. “So before I could do anything, she slams the door in my face.”

“So I go back to my car so I could look for my bat.”

“Wait a second. You have a bat in your car?”

“Yeah.”

“You play baseball?”

“No.”

“Then what are you driving around with a bat in your car for?”

“Just in case a situation gets crazy.”

“Hinged sentence – when a woman tells you she keeps a bat in her trunk, don’t ask why. Ask who made her feel like she needed one.”

“And my man knew what I was doing because I was going to smash this bitch’s windows out.”

“So he tells me to get in the car ’cause he doesn’t want me to get arrested.”

“So I get in the car. And on the way home, I’m pissed. I’m yelling at him. I’m punching him while I’m driving.”

“That’s unsafe,” Jerry said.

“Yeah. I was just mad.”

“So we get back to the house. I go to pack up all my stuff because I was going to leave him.”

“And I get everything. I go outside. And he jumps on the car to try to get me to stay. Causes a big scene.”

“So I go inside because I didn’t want the cops to get called.”

“And then he has the audacity to try to sleep with me. After he just slept with my best friend.”

“So I am here today to confront this bitch.”

Jerry nodded. “The good news is we cleared the place of all baseball bats.”

The crowd laughed.

“And you didn’t sleep with him that night even though he wanted to?”

“Correct.”

“All right,” Jerry said. “The woman’s name is Raquel. Here’s Raquel.”

The doors opened. Raquel walked out.

She looked different than I remembered. Harder. Her arms crossed over her chest like she was already bored.

“So,” Jerry said. “You two were friends?”

“We never were friends,” Raquel said.

“You are friends?” Jerry asked me.

“I haven’t talked to her in years,” Raquel said. “Talking about we’re best friends.”

The crowd murmured.

“Dog, I don’t care about your feelings,” Raquel said, looking at me. “Dude came to me. Obviously he wasn’t getting satisfied at home. He had to come to me.”

“He comes home to ME,” I said.

“You ain’t nothing but a thought.”

“You what?”

“You heard me.”

Jerry held up his hands. “Okay. For the next few minutes, let’s pretend this is on television. What happened that night?”

Raquel smiled. Slow. Cruel.

“We have the same weed connect. I ain’t gonna lie. We met up. He wanted to match. We smoked. Came to my house.”

“Okay.”

“We got hungry. I made some enchiladas.”

“Enchiladas?”

“After that, he was telling me how good I looked.”

She turned to the side. Ran her hand down her body.

“From the front to the back.”

The crowd groaned.

Jerry shook his head. “I’d say we bring out the guy.”

Here’s Alio.

He walked out like he was walking to his own funeral. Shoulders hunched. Eyes on the floor.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to sleep—”

“You didn’t MEAN to?” I stood up.

“We were smoking weed together. That’s all it was.”

“You had sex with my friend!”

“She was just sex. It didn’t mean nothing.”

“Then why’d you do it?”

“I said I was sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“It shouldn’t have happened in the first place!”

“I know it shouldn’t have.”

“If you love me—”

“But I DO love you.”

Jerry looked at him. “So you do want to be with her?”

“Yes sir.”

“And what do you want to say to Raquel?”

Alio turned to the other woman. “That was nothing. That was just… we was smoking that OG kush. I wasn’t thinking.”

He turned back to me. “I want to be with this woman. Not you. You’re just a thought, like I said.”

“I love you,” he said to me.

“No you don’t.”

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you. That was just a mistake. I should have never done it.”

I started crying.

Not because I believed him.

Because I wanted to.

“You know what? I was there for you when no one else was there for you. I was homeless with you. I had your back through everything.”

I wiped my face.

“I want to have your kids.”

The crowd went quiet.

“We were homeless together. We slept in the van together. I had plastic on the windows because our heat didn’t work in the winter.”

“I love you,” he said.

“You should have been thinking about that instead of thinking with your—”

“I know. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“It doesn’t mean anything to you right now. But I’ll show you with my actions. Not my words. Words don’t mean nothing. Let me show you my actions.”

“So you’re saying you don’t want to be with Raquel?”

“No. I don’t want to be with her. That’s nothing, Jerry.”

And then Alio said something that changed everything.

“Who is Raheem?”

I froze.

“That’s my brother,” I said.

“Your brother?”

“Yeah.”

Jerry looked confused. “Here’s Raheem.”

The doors opened again. My brother walked out. Tall. Angry. His jaw tight.

He didn’t look at Alio. He looked at me.

“You don’t deserve this,” Raheem said. “Look how much you’ve sacrificed for him. How much you’ve given up. You have put your life on the line for him many times.”

“Raheem—”

“Why would you even try to give him a second chance? A third chance?”

“Because I love him.”

“Obviously he doesn’t feel the same.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Look what he did. Look what he’s going to do again.”

“Why would you give him that chance?” Jerry asked me.

I looked down at my hands.

“Because I never had a family. And he’s the closest thing to family I have.”

Raheem stepped closer. Put his hand on my shoulder.

“You HAVE family. That’s why I’m here. I’m telling you right now, I care.”

“That is not family,” he said, pointing at Alio. “Family doesn’t do anything like that.”

“We care a lot for you. That is why I’m standing here beside you. Telling him. Telling you. If he can go do something like that after everything you’ve done for him, what makes you think he’s not going to do it again?”

“Honestly? Don’t be stupid anymore. You are making the wrong decision.”

“Even if it’s the second, third, who knows how many times—how many times do you continue to do this kind of thing?”

Alio stepped forward. “That’s none of his business, Jerry. This is between me and her. It’s a relationship with two people. Not three.”

Raheem laughed. Cold.

“This is a two-way street. Not a three-way street.”

“Then why you standing over there?” Alio said.

“Exactly.”

“I don’t mean—family backs up family.”

“Family DOES back up family. That’s why I’m here.”

“I’m her man. You’re just her brother, bro.”

“Yeah. Well. Clearly if you were her man—”

“BUT THERE—” Alio yelled. “When she needs somebody? Where’s everybody else? Where’s everybody else in the family? There’s me.”

He pointed at his chest. “Ain’t nobody else around. It’s ME.”

“Hinged sentence – the worst thing a man can do is mistake his presence for loyalty.”

Raheem stepped closer. “I will admit you’ve been there for her. But just because you’ve been there the little times that you have, that don’t give you the right to sit there and do that. To turn your back.”

“Then why do it?” Raheem asked.

Alio looked at the floor. “I was thinking with my—”

“Maybe you should continue thinking. Just leave my sister alone.”

“It ain’t gonna happen.”

Jerry turned to me. “So what’s going to happen? Because it is ultimately your decision. You’re an adult. Your brother loves you. He thinks it’s a bad idea that you’re still with him. But he’s saying he really loves you. He knows he did wrong. He wants it to work out. What’s up to you?”

I wiped my eyes again.

“I know that he did me wrong. But I mean… if he’ll show me. Then yeah. Like he said. Actions speak louder than words.”

Alio smiled.

“Wait,” Jerry said. “Hold on. I got one thing to tell you.”

He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket.

“I wrote something down for you.”

“I love you, Mariah.”

The crowd went quiet.

“I remember our first kiss. Your mom came down to Colorado and picked me up. And I remember when we kissed, we shocked each other.”

“That was the love. And I knew right then and there, I wanted to kiss you for the rest of my life.”

“I changed my life around for you. To be the man of your dreams. And I can’t wait to see what our future holds.”

He folded the paper.

“Will you grow old with me?”

“Yeah,” I said. Soft. Almost a whisper.

“No,” Raheem said. “Erica, no. No. Don’t even give him that chance. You’ve only been together for two years. You want to spend the rest of your life doing this?”

“I love him.”

“It doesn’t concern you,” I said to Raheem.

“It DOES concern me.”

“It DOESN’T concern you.”

“It DOES.”

And then Alio stepped between us.

“You may be family. But you know what?”

He put his arm around me.

“That’s my wife now.”

“Wife?” Raheem said. “Y’all ain’t even married.”

“We’re engaged.”

“She didn’t say yes.”

“She just did.”

“You can just bounce out with nothing,” Raheem said. “You hear me? Nothing.”

Alio turned to me. Pulled me closer.

“We’ll be back,” Jerry said to the cameras.

But the audience wasn’t watching Jerry.

They were watching me.

Watching me choose him.

Again.

Epilogue – Six Months Later

I found out I was pregnant three weeks after the show.

Alio was excited at first. Bought baby shoes. Painted the nursery blue.

Then the old pattern came back.

Late nights. Ignored calls. A text from a number I didn’t recognize: “Your man was at my house last night.”

Raheem came over last week.

He didn’t say “I told you so.”

He just sat on my couch. Held my hand. Watched me cry.

“You always got me,” he said.

“I know.”

“But you gotta start choosing yourself. Just once. Just to see how it feels.”

I’m due in four months.

Alio hasn’t been to one appointment.

The bat is still in my trunk.

I haven’t used it.

But every time I drive past that house—the one with the porch, the one where I saw that hickey—my hand reaches for the trunk release.

Not out of anger anymore.

Out of memory.

Out of a promise I made to myself.

“Never again.”

The side chick won that night.

But the war?

The war is just getting started.

And this time, I’m fighting for me.