We don’t even use the bathroom alone.

That’s how close we are.

Caitlyn and Richie. Two people glued at the hip. He goes, I go. I go, he goes.

Some people think it’s weird.

I think it’s love.

We’ve been together for over a year. A good year. The kind of year where you start picking out baby names and looking at rings on Instagram.

He told me he wants to marry me.

He told me he wants to have babies with me.

And I believed him.

Because when you’re that close to someone? When you share everything? When you don’t even close the bathroom door?

You stop thinking they can lie to you.

“Hinged sentence – the people who lie the best are the ones who never give you a reason to look.”

The first crack happened about a month ago.

Richie came home with a smile on his face. The kind of smile that says “I have a surprise.”

“Baby, I want you to meet someone,” he said.

“Who?”

“An old friend. Shauna. We go way back.”

I didn’t think anything of it.

I trusted him.

That was my first mistake.

We met at a bar.

Shauna walked in wearing leggings so tight they looked painted on. Her hair was done. Her nails were long. Her smile was the kind that doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Heyyyy,” she said, hugging Richie a little too long. A little too close.

Then she looked at me.

“Oh. You must be Caitlyn.”

“The one and only,” I said.

She didn’t laugh.

The night went downhill from there.

Shauna drank three margaritas in forty-five minutes.

And the more she drank, the worse she got.

She started twerking. Right there. In the middle of the bar. Her back pressed against Richie’s leg while she laughed.

“Oops,” she said. “Just having fun.”

Then she started talking sexual.

Loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Remember that time in high school, Richie? Remember what we used to do?”

Richie laughed it off. “Come on, Shauna. Not now.”

“What? I’m just reminiscing.”

My stomach turned.

But I didn’t say anything.

Because I didn’t want to be the jealous girlfriend.

“Hinged sentence – they call it jealousy until you find out you were right the whole time.”

The second crack came two weeks ago.

Richie was in the shower. His phone buzzed on the nightstand.

I shouldn’t have looked.

But when someone is cheating on you, your body knows before your brain does.

Your hands move on their own.

I picked up the phone.

The message was from Shauna.

“You up?”

I scrolled up.

And up.

And up.

The messages went back months.

“I miss you.”

“Wish you were here.”

“When are you coming back from Kentucky?”

But the worst one? The one that made me stop breathing?

Shauna had sent him a photo.

“My latest tattoo,” she said in the message. “Can I send you a picture?”

Richie replied: “Okay.”

She sent a picture of her butt.

Her bare butt.

And Richie’s response?

“That’s cool.”

THAT’S COOL.

Not “why are you sending me this.” Not “I have a girlfriend.” Just “that’s cool.”

I confronted him when he got out of the shower.

Water still dripping down his chest. Towel around his waist.

“What’s this?”

He looked at the phone. His face went pale.

“Baby, I can explain.”

“Please. Explain.”

“She’s just a friend.”

“Friends send you pictures of their ass?”

“She was showing me her tattoo.”

“The tattoo on her BUTT?”

He sat on the bed. Put his head in his hands.

“Okay. There’s something I should have told you.”

I crossed my arms. Waited.

“Shauna and I… we have a history.”

“What kind of history?”

He looked at the floor.

“She took my virginity.”

The room got very quiet.

“When?”

“I was fifteen. We were kids.”

“You’re twenty-six now.”

“I know.”

“So you’ve been lying to me for over a year.”

“I wasn’t lying. I just didn’t tell you.”

“That’s the same thing.”

He stood up. Tried to hug me. I pushed him away.

“It was a long time ago, Caitlyn. It didn’t mean anything.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I knew you’d react like this.”

“Like WHAT? Like a girlfriend who just found out her man’s ‘friend’ took his virginity and sends him naked pictures?”

 

 

He didn’t have an answer.

Here’s the thing about Richie.

He’s in the military. He travels a lot. He’s always gone.

I’ve learned to live with it. The late-night calls. The missed birthdays. The weeks where I sleep alone on his side of the bed just to smell him.

He was supposed to come home on the thirteenth.

But I found messages that said otherwise.

Shauna picked him up from a gas station.

Took him to her house.

They were “just going to have a good time.”

She got him really drunk.

Let him cuddle on the couch with her.

Let him “fill up all on her.”

That’s what the messages said. Those exact words.

I confronted both of them.

Richie said nothing happened.

Shauna said nothing happened.

“You believe me, right?” Richie asked.

I looked at him.

“No. I don’t believe you one bit, Jerry.”

Wait. Not Jerry. I mean, I didn’t believe Richie.

But that’s how I ended up on the show.

“Caitlyn needs the truth to put her mind at ease,” Jerry said. “Caitlyn, what’s going on?”

I took a breath.

“So I’m here to find out the whole truth. What happened between my man and his so-called friend Shauna a while ago.”

“How long have you been with your boyfriend?”

“I have been with my boyfriend for almost over a year. I love this man so much. He told me he wants to marry me. We want to have babies together.”

“So you’re really close?”

“We do everything together. We go so far as we don’t even use the bathroom without each other. We’re constantly on each other’s hip.”

Jerry raised an eyebrow. “That could be awkward.”

“Yeah. Okay. So you’re really close. Great relationship. Now what happened?”

“So about a month ago, he introduced me to this girl named Shauna.”

“Okay.”

“We were hanging out. I was just getting really, really bad vibes off this girl. She’s always twerking around my man. Talking sexual around my man.”

“How does he know this woman?”

“So about two weeks ago, I found out that Shauna actually took his virginity from him.”

Jerry’s eyes went wide. “Oh. So they had a relationship?”

“When they were younger.”

“And he never told you that?”

“He just said ‘hey, I’ve got this friend I’d like you to meet.’”

“So you had been hanging out with the woman who took your boyfriend’s virginity without knowing it?”

“Yes.”

“He’s in the military,” I said. “He travels a lot. He’s always gone. He just got back from a trip from Kentucky.”

“War in Kentucky?” Jerry joked.

“No. He works there.”

“Oh, I see.”

“And he was supposed to come home on the thirteenth. But I actually found some messages in his phone.”

“What did they say?”

“He had Shauna pick him up from a gas station and take him to her house. They were ‘just going to go have a good time and all that.’ She got him really drunk. Let him cuddle on the couch with her. Let him fill up all on her.”

Jerry leaned back. “And you confronted them?”

“Yes. They both said they didn’t have sex at all. And I don’t believe him, Jerry. Not one bit.”

“How did you know they got together?”

“I read the messages. I read all of them. She even went as far as… she was like, ‘I got my latest tattoo. Is it okay if I send you a picture of it?’ He was like ‘okay.’ She sent him a picture of her butt.”

Jerry shook his head. “That’s so disrespectful.”

“Right?”

“So you think something’s still going on with her?”

“I don’t like their friendship, Jerry,” I said. “I don’t trust her. I don’t want her around my man. She’s always twerking and being vulgar. It’s just too much.”

“What has she said to you directly?”

“She told me, and I quote, ‘If I wanted your man, I could have him. One hundred percent.’”

Jerry nodded slowly. “Them are fighting words. Them are very fighting words, Jerry.”

“Right?”

“What’s her name?”

“Shauna.”

“Here’s Shauna.”

The doors opened.

Shauna walked out like she owned the place. Arms swinging. Head high. Smile wide.

She didn’t look at me.

She looked at the audience. Blew a kiss.

Then she grabbed the microphone.

“I didn’t give you the truth because you was being a cry baby ass bitch.”

The crowd gasped.

“I can still have your man,” she said. “I still have your man. I can STILL have him.”

Jerry looked at the audience. “Can I get a beat? Can I get a beat?”

The band started playing.

Shauna started dancing.

Twerking. Right there on stage. While I sat ten feet away.

The crowd was torn between laughing and being horrified.

“Hinged sentence – some women want your man. Other women want you to watch them take him.”

“Okay,” Jerry said. “So you know they’re together now? Or what does Richie tell you?”

“Every time I invite Richie over to hang out, I invite her,” Shauna said. “He had it in his mind like he already wanted to hit this. So he left Caitlyn at home.”

“He left her at home?”

“That’s the only reason why he wanted to hit that. Because all Caitlyn does is act like a worrier constantly.”

“What does that mean?”

“He just wanted to see if it was any different from when I took his virginity.”

Jerry blinked. “Oh. So that’s why he said he would never—”

“He would never because YOU look like a dirty ass rat,” Shauna said, pointing at me.

The crowd erupted.

“He was the one filling up on ME,” Shauna said. “He was filling up on me.”

She turned to the audience.

“Maybe if you put your ass on your face, maybe it would look better. Yeah. That might make him want you any more.”

Jerry covered his mouth.

“That’s a nasty crack,” he said.

“Here’s Richie,” Jerry announced.

Richie walked out. Shoulders back. Military posture. But his eyes were scared.

“What do you want me to do about it?” he asked.

Not to me. To Jerry.

“I don’t understand why you would do that to me,” I said. “I would never betray you like that. I’m so loyal.”

“You are so loyal,” he said. “And I feel really bad. I feel really bad, you know?”

“Then why?”

“She got hype over her jam.”

“What?”

“When I was fifteen, I was a boy then. I’m a man now. I’m twenty-six years old. I was just curious to know how it would be like now.”

“Curious?” I stood up.

“I’m a grown man. I know what I’m doing in the bedroom. Period.”

“So you know what you’re doing,” Jerry said. “But that’s what you’re supposed to do with Caitlyn. Not with Shauna.”

Richie nodded. “I’m very sure it is something I’m supposed to do with Caitlyn.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Because you don’t give me any privacy,” Richie said, turning to me.

“What?”

“You have all the passwords to my social media. My Facebook. My emails. Everything. Instagram. I’m not on it, you know?”

“So?”

“What do you expect when you do stuff like that? I did stuff like that because you pushed me away.”

“I pushed you away?”

“You been pushing me away for quite some time. So it’s kind of like… I was just curious.”

“So you’re not interested in being with Shauna?” Jerry asked.

“No. He still hit this, Jerry,” Shauna said. “He is still here.”

“That’s not true,” Richie said. “That’s definitely not true. I would never—”

“She invited both of you over to the house to hang out, right?” Jerry asked.

“Yes.”

“And you told her you didn’t want her to go with you?”

Richie sighed.

“My brother picked me up. I was going to Williamsburg, Kentucky for work. I came back from work the other day to hang out with Shauna and drink.”

“Why not drink with Caitlyn?”

“Because I know if I drank with my old lady and Shauna there, there’d be some type of animosity. I already know.”

“So you went behind her back,” Jerry said.

“Yes. And I regretted it.”

“Do you want to be with Caitlyn?”

“I definitely want to be with Caitlyn and not Shauna at all. Obviously.”

Shauna laughed. Loud. Ugly.

“Tell her I invited the both of you and that you wanted to come by yourself,” Jerry said.

“That’s true. That’s very true.”

“So the real issue is between you two,” Jerry said to me. “You love him. That’s why you’re so upset.”

“Yes.”

Richie turned to me. Grabbed my hands.

“I do apologize. And I do want to be with you. I just need privacy. I can’t be handheld all the time.”

“What do you mean?”

“I go to the bar with some buddies. I’m drinking. And then you just pop up out of nowhere. I’m like, what’s going on?”

“I don’t pop up out of nowhere.”

“You do. It’s crazy. It’s crazy.”

“And Hennessy makes you do certain things,” Jerry said.

Richie nodded. “True.”

“So you just want to apologize?”

“Yes. Like I said before. I definitely want to be with you. Not her.”

“Are you okay?” Richie asked me.

I was crying.

Not because I was sad.

Because I was tired.

“I love you so much,” I said.

“I love you too.”

“I do apologize,” Richie said. “That’s nothing I’m really interested in. I like classy ladies.”

Shauna flipped her hair. “Classy? Please.”

“You’re nasty,” Richie said.

“I’m nasty? YOU came to MY house.”

“Ask you later,” Jerry said to the cameras. “We’ll be back.”

Epilogue – Three Months Later

Richie and I are still together.

I know.

I can hear you judging me through the screen.

But here’s the thing about love. It doesn’t listen to reason. It doesn’t care about evidence. It doesn’t look at text messages and say “you know what? You’re right. I should leave.”

Love says “maybe he’ll change.”

Love says “it was just curiosity.”

Love says “at least he came back.”

I changed all my passwords.

Not because he asked me to. Because I was tired of being the password police. Tired of checking his phone like it was my second job.

If he’s going to cheat, he’s going to cheat.

A password won’t stop him.

Shauna still calls him sometimes. He showed me. He said “look, she called, and I didn’t answer.”

That was supposed to make me feel better.

It didn’t.

“Hinged sentence – the opposite of trust isn’t suspicion. It’s exhaustion.”

The bathroom door is closed now.

I don’t know when that happened. Sometime between the gas station pickup and the tattoo photo.

He still travels for work. Every time he leaves, I hold my breath until he comes back.

We’re not engaged anymore. He hasn’t brought it up since the show.

Neither have I.

Some questions are better left unasked when you’re afraid of the answer.

Shauna posted a video last week. Twerking. Caption: “Some men just need a reminder of what they’re missing.”

She didn’t tag him.

But she didn’t have to.

I knew.

I always know.

That’s the worst part about being with a liar.

They make you psychic.